March 16, 2011: Who Knows?

Dear Chevre (Friends):

I used to consider vecha’asher avadti avadti, “if I perish, I perish,” (Esther 4:16) the most powerful line of the Megilah. Esther knows that she risks death if she enters the king’s presence unbidden, but it doesn’t matter anymore. She’s come to the end of her rope and she has nothing more to lose. How well I relate! Once, not too long ago, I faced a life-and-death challenge right at Purim, and those words, vecha’asher avadti avadti, gave me the courage and strength to persevere.

Have you ever heard the apocryphal story about the frog in the pot of water? Apparently, if you throw a frog in a pot of boiling water, he will jump out immediately, but if you place him in a cool pot of water and slowly turn up the heat, he will die. In observing human nature—and, especially, in observing myself—I see that we are the same. We are rarely ready to make lifesaving changes until we are in crisis. Addicts in recovery call it “hitting rock bottom.” Esther calls it “vecha’asher avadti avadti.”

I now consider the words that appear a few verses prior: mi yodei’a, “who knows?,” (Esther 4:14) to be at least as important. It turns out that the Book of Esther was highly controversial, and its inclusion in the Biblical canon was hotly contested in the Talmud. Why? Because not once does the scroll mention the name of God. In fact, religious faith seems completely absent from the story. You can read it as the tale of a few courageous leaders (Mordecai and Esther) who saved their people from annihilation, relying on wit, courage, and considerable luck to succeed. Or, you can read it as the Talmudic Rabbis do, in which God orchestrated victory behind the scenes, inspiring the leaders with ru’ach haqodesh, Holy Spirit. (bMegilah 7a)

I don’t know why, after forty years, the entrenched system of apartheid in South Africa toppled overnight. I don’t know whether the revolution sweeping the Arab world today is a good thing or a bad thing. I don’t know whether Israel and Palestine will ever live at peace. I don’t even know whether God exists. (Years after the death of Mother Theresa, her own severe religious doubts came to light when her personal correspondence was published. She used to begin all her prayers: “Dear God—if there is one—…”) It’s all a mystery. All I know is that our Jewish religion fundamentally demands of us that we fight oppression and preserve life wherever they may exist. Addicts in recovery call it “acting as if.” Mordecai calls it: “Mi yodei’a? Who knows? Who knows if you weren’t placed in this exact position at this exact moment in time for this very purpose?”

Rabbi Brian
rabbi.brian.besser@gmail.com